Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
