i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
