i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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