shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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