Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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