so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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