i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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