His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
