he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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