using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
