Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
