i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.