He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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