We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
