is your mom at the bar?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
