He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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