He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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