idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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