chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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