ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize