You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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