dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
