After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
