We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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