Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize