when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize