the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize