He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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