Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
did i walk over a car last night?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
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The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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