You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
