We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
