I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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