I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
