i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
And my parents said I crawled through the house
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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