I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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