Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
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We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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