mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
North Korea, Best Korea!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
