Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
