420 ftw
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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