so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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