i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
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