Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
