UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
