What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.