Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.