I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize