Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
