so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
