Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
