Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
