What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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