after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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