I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize