Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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