Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
