im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
